Just as I was drifting off to sleep, words began swirling into that tiny space between my subconscious and conscious mind, forcing me awake. I tried to ignore them, but then the words began to join together and form sentences that refused to be ignored. So I rolled over. As I closed my eyes again, I knew that I was wasting my time. Sleep was not coming until I released the words and their well-formed sentences into the ether.
Its never been easy for me to go to sleep. Each night when I finally exhaust myself into unconsciousness, a freight train could blast its way through our bedroom and I wouldn’t hear it. Falling asleep? Well, that is the problem. My mother used to say that when I was a baby, I learned to fight sleep. She would put me to bed and I would lay there fretting until my father got home from working 2nd shift, a little after midnight. Then, I would easily fall asleep knowing he was home.
The words that prevented me from falling asleep tonight are for a blog post at work. I had thought about publishing a story this week about Thanksgiving, featuring the work of the region’s 37 food pantries. I considered showing how these agencies and their volunteers are on the front lines fighting hunger. But its a big story — one that deserves more time than what I had to respectfully produce it.
Then, in those moments as I was drifting off to sleep, an idea for new story began writing itself. I already have a story ready publish this week. But if I can make the words and well-formed sentences magically return tomorrow, I’ll write a better story. I don’t have all the information or otherwise I’d be writing that story now. So this overwhelming urge to write will have to be satisfied with what I’ve written here, knowing that I’ll get to the real story tomorrow.
Obviously, I haven’t kept up with the NaBloPoMo 30-day writing challenge. I knew it was going to be hard. November is a crazy month for me. The college basketball season begins, three annual projects at work consume my life, my husband becomes overwhelmed with end-of-the-semester grading, and I kick into overdrive cleaning the house for the holidays. If I had managed to post something each of the 30 days, I would have been considered for a free trip to the 2015 BlogHer Conference. I’m not interested in attending anyway. So I don’t feel guilty about missing a few days. The truth is, even though I wasn’t publishing here, each of those days I was writing for something else. There is hardly a day that goes by that I’m not writing something, which was the whole point of the challenge. So if participating in NaBloPoMo did anything (and it did several positive things), it motivated me to start publishing here again.
That’s a good thing, right?